Two Nuns are walking down the street when two men grab them and drag them into an alley. The men start to sexually assault the Nuns. One Nun says "Forgive him Father for he knows not what he does." And the second Nun yells "Mine does."
Two Nuns are walking down the street when two men grab them and drag them into an alley. The men start to sexually assault the Nuns. One Nun says "Forgive him Father for he knows not what he does." And the second Nun yells "Mine does."
1995 AM General Hummer
2004 Crown Vic Sport
Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman:
How many beers a day?
Man:
Usually about 3
Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip
(This is where it gets scary !)
Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?
Man:
About 20 years, I suppose
Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 …correct?
Man:
Correct
Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man:
Correct
Woman:
Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man:
Do you drink beer?
Woman:
No
Man:
Where's your Ferrari?
I LOVE Jerry's bar, it's my kinda place...........
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead. It is difficult only for others. It is the same way when you are stupid.
"Chuck Norris built my stock longblock. It runs on the tears of small children and makes 10,000 hp. He said it's his 'street version' "
Trilogy # 192 / T.S. 0012
BOOST GETS YOU FELONY STOPPED!!!
The Goldberg Brothers - The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner
Here's a little fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends.
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office.
They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.
Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Jewish, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.
And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show --
Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.
Robin Williams dressed as Mork, (Mork from Ork) throwing eggs gently into the air, saying, "Fly my friend, be free!"
2003 300A Black, #4918 of 7838, 17,400 Miles
Tune, KYB's, JLT, FlowMaster 42441, Res Delete, New BFG's, 8 coats of zymoil Titanium
2003 300B Silver Birch, #21 of 419, 29,800 miles
Tune, JLT, FlowMaster 42441 Res Delete, New Nitto 235/255 Bigcarsforever dead peddle & custom SRP peddles, 5 coats Zymoil Titanium, Addco front and rear sway bars, KYBs, 1/2 inch coil cut, Sparta Watts link and Control Arms, Carfixer alignment.
2003 CV Sport Matador Red, 19,280 Miles, DD, Curless Full Service Royal flush, Marto Tune, 18 Chrome Wheels w 235/265 front/back Nitto tires, NEW OEM Sport Springs -1 coil & Monroe Severe Duty (front) shocks, Addco front and rear sway bars, KYB rear Shocks, Carfixer Alignment.
2004 CV HPP Silver Birch, 93,000 miles. Son's DD, 18 Chrome Wheels w 235/265 front/back Nitto tires (thank you Lowndex!)
How many democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, but it really gets screwed.
The BEAUTY - 03 Mercury Marauder Stock (mostly)
1/4 mile est@slow
The BEAST - 04 CVPI ex MSP, Kooks LTs, OBX mid/X pipe, OBX mufflers, 4" megs tips, Accufab plenum 75mm TB combo, Accel COPs, KnN CAI, J-mod, Heinous control arms FRPP 3.73 w/ tracloc, SCT Lonnie tune.
1/4 mile 14.8@93mph
WTB - Steeda U/D
WTT - Accufab 75mm TB for Accufab 70mm TB.
For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 10-speed bicycle.. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Joseph heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, 'Son, where are you going?' Little Joseph told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no ****ing bike!
2003 Marauder 1907 of 7838
Built 06/24/02 Bought 10/25/02 Sold 1/5/19
Reinhart chip,stat,plugs
McGard locks
Mercury logo valve/plate bolt caps
Bob White black reflective letters
Pioneer AVH-X2500BT
Kicker 10" sub and 250 watt amp
Gods Head spinners by Jerry
A little 10-year-old girl was walking home alone from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her. After following along for a while, he turns to her and asks, "Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"
"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.
The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks, "Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."
"NO!" says the little girl as she hurries down the street.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says, "Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks 'and' a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride."
Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and screams, "Look Dad, you’re the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley!
"YOU RIDE IT!"
2003 Marauder 1907 of 7838
Built 06/24/02 Bought 10/25/02 Sold 1/5/19
Reinhart chip,stat,plugs
McGard locks
Mercury logo valve/plate bolt caps
Bob White black reflective letters
Pioneer AVH-X2500BT
Kicker 10" sub and 250 watt amp
Gods Head spinners by Jerry
What do you get when a topless blonde starts putting sunscreen on a topless brunette?
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Your Camera!
2003 300A #5377 130,XXX Miles
Drilled and slotted rotors from Ebay
JLT
Stainless Works Long Tube Headers and 3" catback.
Mo's Tune
Car Terminology - The joy of Daughters
*
A daughter asked her Dad,*"Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me that I didn't understand. He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper."
*
Her Dad said,*"You tell your boyfriend that, if he opens your hood and tries to check your oil with his dipstick, I will tighten his nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking out of his exhaust pipe."*** * *
Chris Stewart
03 Marauder
Paxton 2200
20" wheels
637.21rwhp
538.59rwtq
04 DTR Son's car
4.10, K&N CAI, Jeff tune
Headers, underdrive pulley
297.26 rwhp
312rwtq
06 F-150 Supercrew Lariat 4x4
305/55 20's
Yesterday was so hot! On the way home I bought a loaf of bread. By the time I got home, it was toast!
Chris Stewart
03 Marauder
Paxton 2200
20" wheels
637.21rwhp
538.59rwtq
04 DTR Son's car
4.10, K&N CAI, Jeff tune
Headers, underdrive pulley
297.26 rwhp
312rwtq
06 F-150 Supercrew Lariat 4x4
305/55 20's
Viagra!
I just started taking it!
Not for sex, to keep my slippers dry!
2004 Trilogy #93P 12.2@113 Built and stalled
A tough looking group of Harley Davidson bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stop.
The leader, a big burly man from Chicago, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering sensual kiss.
After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous!! Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"
2003 300A #5377 130,XXX Miles
Drilled and slotted rotors from Ebay
JLT
Stainless Works Long Tube Headers and 3" catback.
Mo's Tune
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