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SergntMac
10-04-2006, 02:17 PM
You just never know what to expect out of people, and they are always surprising me.

Today, I'm out and about on errands, and I'm aproaching the intrsection of 115th Street and Pluaski Road. This is a busy intersection and poorly maintained because it's the border of Chicago and Alsip IL. North/South lanes on Pulaski Road have a turn lane. Likewise, East bound 115th Street has a turn arrow, 'cause it's in Alsip. But, not West bound, 'cause it's in Chicago. So, for folks driving West, it's a drag when others don't use turn signals.

As I'm approaching Pulaski, there is a car stopped in then left lane. Rather than get burned by a latent/lazy/stupid driver, I move into the right lane. I only glance at the car, it's burgundy with dirty windows and clutter on the dashboard. The driver is a blond woman, looked about mid 40s, and smoking.

The light changes and she's not turning after all. Then I hear a woosh of groaning and it dawns on me...She's racing me. All I caught on the fender was "Sebring", like I know anything about it, but I'm game anyway. She's got the jump from my delayed reaction, but I lay into the throttle and in a few feet, she's toast, all the time thinking how stupid some folks can be. Rather than just wax her azz asn be done with it, I stay into it through the 1-2 shift, and half way through 2nd. Give her something to think about in the block I leave between us.

It takes a few more blocks, but she catches up and rides my tail to the next light, Cicero Avenue. Again, I'm in the right lane, she's in the center. I see her window come down and I turn to her. As she speaks, my missing tooth to tatoo ratio index registers .4. Alsip resident, eh?

"What kind of cop car is that?" I just return a dead pan.

"I usually beat the snot of of cop cars" (LOL and takes a puff). My dead pan continues, she's waiting. Meanwhile I'm watching the lights change while brake torquing to about 1k RPM. Then I say in a slow deliberate tone...

"It's not a cop car."

(puff) "oh?"

"C.I.A. b!tch...Alsip's to your left, go home and brush your tooth".

The light comes down to green and I do her again. She didn't follow...

What's a Sebring? Damn jelly bean cars all look the same to me...

Blackened300a
10-04-2006, 02:34 PM
What's a Sebring? Damn jelly bean cars all look the same to me...

Another horrid Chrysler product that runs the 1/4 in a whopping 17.0 flat!

Maybe you missed her bumper sticker sticker that said "If you can beat me, you can eat me" and she does that on purpose for the cops. :lol:

chapel1
10-04-2006, 02:40 PM
I think she was trying to add another notch on her bed post.:down:

CRUZTAKER
10-04-2006, 02:40 PM
A Mac kill story...and NOT in the KB...

I don't believe I have read one of these in nearly 4 years.

Nice!

Oh yeah, BTW, street racing? :nono:

:baaa:

94_302
10-04-2006, 03:00 PM
I was actually driving the other day and almost the exact same thing happened to me, except I was laughing too hard to bother. I guess sebring owners are a fiesty breed. :lol:

scoutrjp
10-04-2006, 04:23 PM
That's why I love this site. Just spent 5min LOL. My wife had one before it got totaled but she has all of her teeth. Great story!

SergntMac
10-04-2006, 04:40 PM
Maybe you missed her bumper sticker sticker that said "If you can beat me, you can eat me" and she does that on purpose for the cops.Or, they do.

This would be one of those times winning doesn't have a prize, and you say thank you a bit louder.

SergntMac
10-04-2006, 04:44 PM
A Mac kill story...and NOT in the KB...

I don't believe I have read one of these in nearly 4 years.

Nice!

Oh yeah, BTW, street racing? :nono:

:baaa:Yeah shucks, I know (kicking my toe in the sand), sorry...Can't say I don't do it, I just don't post much about it.

Wasn't really a kill, more like a suicide...

Joe Walsh
10-04-2006, 04:48 PM
The driver is a blond woman, looked about mid 40s, and smoking.

I see her window come down and I turn to her. As she speaks, my missing tooth to tatoo ratio index registers .4. Alsip resident, eh?

...

Great story.....:rofl:

I bet that her Sebring did NOT have any deer whistles installed...
She figured she'd save money and just hang her open mouth out the side window!

Bluerauder
10-04-2006, 04:49 PM
What's a Sebring? Damn jelly bean cars all look the same to me...
Great story !! :up: I'm embarrassed to say that I looked at a Chrysler Sebring Lxi (or Jxi) convertible several years ago. :o I liked the car stylingwise; but at the time I think it had only 2 engine choices --- a 2.4 L and a 2.8 L. I test drove both and both were anemic. I haven't looked since. At the time, a convertible seemed right .... then I heard about the Marauder. The rest is history. :D

SergntMac
10-04-2006, 04:59 PM
I was actually driving the other day and almost the exact same thing happened to me, except I was laughing too hard to bother. I guess sebring owners are a fiesty breed. :lol:Fiesty?

Actually, I think it's a medical condition with a prescribed medication. Just like Herpes.

That many adult teeth just don't come out by age alone, they get some help.

I think Gary (Chapel1) was close ^ there, with a comment about bed posts...

I can imagine her lips forming the invite..."Get a cold six-pack, hun, we'll have a great afternoon (wink)".

One of the reasons I don't drink beer, or, hang in Alsip.

No saloons, no taverns, no lounges, just "bars".

My idea of "dinner out" is not meeting a broad at a bar with a Miller Lite in a tall glass. My concept of a "home cooked meal" is not a bag of Jay's deep fried pork rinds with that...

Bigdogjim
10-04-2006, 05:10 PM
Mac, just to Octoberfest and leave the strange people alone.

ps. don not bring any with you..:rofl:

SergntMac
10-04-2006, 05:36 PM
I promise I will not bring any with me, Jim.

Don't even know where the Greyhound stops are at on the road we will be traveling.

BillyGman
10-04-2006, 10:53 PM
..... As she speaks, my missing tooth to tatoo ratio index registers .4. LOLOLOLOL!!! :rofl: That's the funniest thing I've heard all week!! Thanks MAC. I needed a good laugh!
What's a Sebring? Damn jelly bean cars all look the same to me...I hear ya. They all look alike to me too.

Haggis
10-05-2006, 03:26 AM
Great story.....:rofl:

I bet that her Sebring did NOT have any deer whistles installed...
She figured she'd save money and just hang her open mouth out the side window!

:laugh::laugh::laugh:


Hey Mac, maybe she can remove the rest of her dentures and give you a good gumming.

SergntMac
10-05-2006, 03:38 AM
Who said anything 'bout dentures...

MERCMAN
10-05-2006, 04:16 AM
Just think how she would have drooling if she had known that you had your kilt on!! :rofl:

Ross
10-06-2006, 03:06 PM
Sarge, you just have TOO much sex appeal for those gals! I know, it's a burden that some of us have to bear...