RF Overlord
07-28-2010, 02:25 AM
The difference between California and Arizona
California:
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature
trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi"
and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural
and his dog is killed.
2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and bills the
State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the
State $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
diseases from the coyote and getting his wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts
a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote
awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat
rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack
somehow and for letting the Governor consider an attempt to intervene.
9. Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and train a new
security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit
against the State.
Arizona:
The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A
coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her state-issued pistol and keeps
jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
2. Buzzards eat the dead coyote.
...and that's why California is broke.
California:
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature
trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi"
and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural
and his dog is killed.
2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and bills the
State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the
State $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
diseases from the coyote and getting his wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts
a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote
awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat
rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack
somehow and for letting the Governor consider an attempt to intervene.
9. Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and train a new
security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit
against the State.
Arizona:
The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A
coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her state-issued pistol and keeps
jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
2. Buzzards eat the dead coyote.
...and that's why California is broke.