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  1. #1
    Join Date
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    Joke of the day

    How about a little humor, post a joke here. Me first;

    A man went to visit his grandparents and found his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance without answering. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.

  2. #2
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    Two guys walk into a bar. The third ducked...

  3. #3
    BeaSStMaster Guest
    Sam and Bessie Goldberg are senior citizens, and, Sam always wanted an expensive pair of cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys a pair and wears them home, asking Bessie, "So, do you notice anything different about me?"

    "What's different? It's the same shirt you wore yesterday, and the same pants. What's different?"

    Frustrated, Sam goes into the bathroom, undresses and comes out completely naked, wearing only his new boots. Again, he says, "Bessie, do you notice anything different about me?"

    "What's different, Sam? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday and will be hanging down tomorrow."

    Angrily, Sam yells, "DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN? Cause it's looking at my NEW BOOTS

    Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat."

  4. #4
    Billatpro Guest
    In an effort to control the exploding deer population the DNR is putting out "treated" feed for male deer, It affects the sex drive and stops mating, It reportedly taste alot like wedding cake!

  5. #5
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    Billatpro, my wife said you were not supposed to be privy to that information... lol
    2003 MM 300 A
    1984 F150 "STEPSIDE"
    "cause I COULD"

  6. #6
    Mark McQuaide Guest
    Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth.

    One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.

    "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."

    "It's quite OK," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you." "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny.

    So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."

    "Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls.

    I'd say you must be French".

  7. #7
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    Roflmao!!!

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  8. #8
    KSMM03 Guest

    Okay, here's one for you

    Think you'll all like this one
    Attached Images Attached Images

  9. #9
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    A man breaks in on his son because he heard him on the toilet masturbating and said "Son, if you keep doing that you'll go blind!" and his son said, "Dad, I'm over here in the bathtub."
    Last edited by David Morton; 05-27-2004 at 07:38 PM.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by KSMM03
    Think you'll all like this one (Followed by image of Tom Dschle with left hand on chest)
    Base varlot! Thee hast obviously doctored thine graven image disguising the truth. Thine attempt to hide truth hath called upon me to call thee upon the field of honor to do righteous combat for honors sake.

    Wait! I think I have an original of that photo.

  11. #11
    Join Date
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    A foxy blonde cop pulled over another foxy blonde and aske for her licence.

    "Licence?" she said, "Yeah, you know that thing in your purse that has your name on it and a picture of you." said the cop. "Oh, that silly old thing." said the ditz and she reached inside her purse and handed the cop her personalized make-up compact. The cop opened it, looked in the mirror and handed it back to the girl and said, "Oh, I'm sorry honey. I didn't know you were a police officer, too. You can go. Professional couretesy."

  12. #12
    2005Marauder Guest
    He's so old all his friends in Heaven think that he didn't make it.

  13. #13
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    The difference between women and men is; a woman is going for the one man that will supply her every need and a man is going for every woman that will supply his one need.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
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    Birmingham, Alabama
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    Quote Originally Posted by David Morton
    Base varlot! Thee hast obviously doctored thine graven image disguising the truth. Thine attempt to hide truth hath called upon me to call thee upon the field of honor to do righteous combat for honors sake.

    Wait! I think I have an original of that photo.
    KSSM03 likely did not fake the photo himself, but merely passed on the fake from someplace else. You gotta be careful with found images, otherwise you can get sucked in by a good fake.

    http://www.snopes.com/photos/daschle.asp

  15. #15
    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donny Carlson
    KSSM03 likely did not fake the photo himself, but merely passed on the fake from someplace else. You gotta be careful with found images, otherwise you can get sucked in by a good fake.

    http://www.snopes.com/photos/daschle.asp
    Yeah, but it isn't even a good fake! Thanks for the link that proves it. I had no hard feelings, so I did a little of my own playing around to try and bring a little levity to some meanness I think can screw us up.

    Partisan politics is a good way to bust up and screw up a good fellowship and I hate to see too many guys on this site campaigning for their guy when we're supposed to be about the greatest car for the dollar since the 64&1/2 Mustang, the 2002-04 Marauder!
    Last edited by David Morton; 06-06-2004 at 10:45 PM.

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