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Thread: Joke of the day

  1. #1846
    Join Date
    May 2009
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    Moreau Island
    Posts
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    Groan

  2. #1847
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    Pinehurst, NC
    Age
    80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Man View Post
    Groan
    +1...^^^ Double groan!
    Semper fi

    "Those that refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

  3. #1848
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Greenville, SC
    Posts
    22,513
    Youse guys just don't appreciate the art of true humor...

    2003 300B DBP
    Build date: 6/19/03
    Number 7,792 of 7,838 - 326 of 328
    Proud member of the MM "BLUES" Bros.
    Purchased: 11/10/05
    Eaton swap by ImpalaSlayer 11-09-10

    Semper et in Aeternum, Mercurius.

    In Memory:
    2004 DTR
    Build Date 01/27/04
    Purchased 04/04/04
    Wrecked 10/19/05, R.I.P.



  4. #1849
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Moreau Island
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    12,207
    Quote Originally Posted by SC Cheesehead View Post
    Youse guys just don't appreciate the art of true humor...
    Guess they can't all be gems Rex

  5. #1850
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Greenville, SC
    Posts
    22,513
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Man View Post
    Guess they can't all be gems Rex
    Who, you guys or my jokes?

    2003 300B DBP
    Build date: 6/19/03
    Number 7,792 of 7,838 - 326 of 328
    Proud member of the MM "BLUES" Bros.
    Purchased: 11/10/05
    Eaton swap by ImpalaSlayer 11-09-10

    Semper et in Aeternum, Mercurius.

    In Memory:
    2004 DTR
    Build Date 01/27/04
    Purchased 04/04/04
    Wrecked 10/19/05, R.I.P.



  6. #1851
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Conneticut U.S.A.
    Age
    59
    Posts
    2,730

    Don't mess with old people

    Last edited by LeoVampire; 05-01-2010 at 09:48 AM. Reason: goofed in spelling as usual


    Bought Her for my 40th B Day in August of 2004 @ Crest Lincoln Mercury
    Assembled 12/17/2003
    #1183 of a build of 3214
    and is #379 of 1237

    Link to Mod's and car:

    http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forum...o=view&id=8832

    Link to Pictures of the Kids/Animals, Cars I have built or a hand in building as well as cars and trucks I have owned.

    http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forum...php?albumid=16

  7. #1852
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    Pinehurst, NC
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  8. #1853
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Greenville, SC
    Posts
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    Quote Originally Posted by dakslim View Post
    LMAO...don't mess with the "Geezer Gang"!!!!


    2003 300B DBP
    Build date: 6/19/03
    Number 7,792 of 7,838 - 326 of 328
    Proud member of the MM "BLUES" Bros.
    Purchased: 11/10/05
    Eaton swap by ImpalaSlayer 11-09-10

    Semper et in Aeternum, Mercurius.

    In Memory:
    2004 DTR
    Build Date 01/27/04
    Purchased 04/04/04
    Wrecked 10/19/05, R.I.P.



  9. #1854
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Greenville, SC
    Posts
    22,513
    I was out shopping yesterday for a new ride. Just for fun, I took a Cadillac Escalade out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that Escalade "feel" before they become extinct through even more mismanagement by the government...

    The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and all its wonderful options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

    I stated the car must be a Republican car.

    Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican car.

    I explained that if it were a Democrat car, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.

    I had to walk back to the dealership...

    2003 300B DBP
    Build date: 6/19/03
    Number 7,792 of 7,838 - 326 of 328
    Proud member of the MM "BLUES" Bros.
    Purchased: 11/10/05
    Eaton swap by ImpalaSlayer 11-09-10

    Semper et in Aeternum, Mercurius.

    In Memory:
    2004 DTR
    Build Date 01/27/04
    Purchased 04/04/04
    Wrecked 10/19/05, R.I.P.



  10. #1855
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Pinehurst, NC
    Age
    80
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    2,108
    Quote Originally Posted by SC Cheesehead View Post
    I was out shopping yesterday for a new ride. Just for fun, I took a Cadillac Escalade out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that Escalade "feel" before they become extinct through even more mismanagement by the government...

    The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and all its wonderful options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

    I stated the car must be a Republican car.

    Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican car.

    I explained that if it were a Democrat car, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.

    I had to walk back to the dealership...
    MUCH better than the last one...LMAO
    Semper fi

    "Those that refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

  11. #1856
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Have ice Bucket, will travel
    Age
    49
    Posts
    6,338
    What do you call Viagra for women?.....Jewelery
    <img src=http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=8954&dateline=1348600468 border=0 alt= />

    Purchased: 12-3-11 from Martyo
    Blown: 2-2-12 Vortech FTW (Installation at Mo's)
    Ice Bucket Blown: 4-14-12 (Louisville)
    New member to MM "Blues Brothers"

    And I'm never to old to try and impress 22 year old girls

    Quote Originally Posted by CBT View Post
    Did I? Oh yeah I guess I did. Sometimes I type too fast and get the A and the S confused, good catch. *******.
    Quote Originally Posted by CBT View Post
    I have survived Haggis Black Death. The next morning I think it dislodged Hamburger Helper that was caught in my guts since childhood. Either that or I crapped out my pancreas.

  12. #1857
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Misquamicut, RI
    Age
    66
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    3,835
    A little boy says to his mother, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"

    His mother replied, "Barack, don't even go there! From what I can remember about that party, you're lucky you don't bark!"
    300A
    born 08-27-02
    Adjusted air in and air out.
    400+ timeslips.

    When in doubt, GAS IT! This will either fix the problem, or end the suspense.

  13. #1858
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Greenville, SC
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    22,513
    Quote Originally Posted by Paul T. Casey View Post
    A little boy says to his mother, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"

    His mother replied, "Barack, don't even go there! From what I can remember about that party, you're lucky you don't bark!"



    Ooooooh SNAP! Can they lock down JOTD?

    2003 300B DBP
    Build date: 6/19/03
    Number 7,792 of 7,838 - 326 of 328
    Proud member of the MM "BLUES" Bros.
    Purchased: 11/10/05
    Eaton swap by ImpalaSlayer 11-09-10

    Semper et in Aeternum, Mercurius.

    In Memory:
    2004 DTR
    Build Date 01/27/04
    Purchased 04/04/04
    Wrecked 10/19/05, R.I.P.



  14. #1859
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Edmonton, Alberta
    Posts
    3,074
    Problem solving. The answer is at the bottom.


    You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

    On your left side is a 'drop off' , (The ground is 18-24 inches below the level you are travelling on), and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you ...

    In front of you is a galloping horse , which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it .

    Behind you is a galloping zebra . Both the horse and zebra are also travelling at the same speed as you .

    What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation ?
















    * Get off the merry-go-round, you're too drunk. *
    2003 Marauder 300eh - Stock

    Born: 12/03/2002
    Adopted 02/17/2003

    Trilogy #243

    AVIC D3
    SS Inserts.
    Metco Control arms and Watts link.
    QA1 8 way adjustable shocks and struts.
    Addco front and rear anti-roll bars.
    Wilwood front brakes.

    I can't drive 55. I'm looking forward to not being able to drive 75 ether.

  15. #1860
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Afhaggisland
    Posts
    12,031
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr Caleb View Post
    Problem solving. The answer is at the bottom.


    You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

    On your left side is a 'drop off' , (The ground is 18-24 inches below the level you are travelling on), and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you ...

    In front of you is a galloping horse , which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it .

    Behind you is a galloping zebra . Both the horse and zebra are also travelling at the same speed as you .

    What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation ?
















    * Get off the merry-go-round, you're too drunk. *
    Most Merry-go-rounds I have seen turn in a counterclockwise direction putting the ground on your right, not your left. You must really be drunk to be riding it backwards and going in reverse.
    Saorsa gu Brath
    (Freedon Forever)


    Si vis pacem para bellum
    (If you want peace, prepare for war)


    Μολὼν λαβέ
    (Come and take them)


    Stann saam of sterf allen
    (Stand together or die alone)


    Audentis Fortuna Iuvat
    (Fortune Favors the Brave)


    Antes morrer livres que em paz sujeitos
    (Rather die as free men than be enslaved in peace)


    "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants alike. It is the tree's natural manure." -Thomas Jefferson

    "The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." - Thomas Jefferson

    The Constitution guarantees our rights as American citizens, the 2nd Amendment protects those rights


    "THE BLACK BOMBER"


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