Groan
Groan
Youse guys just don't appreciate the art of true humor...
2003 300B DBP
Build date: 6/19/03
Number 7,792 of 7,838 - 326 of 328
Proud member of the MM "BLUES" Bros.
Purchased: 11/10/05
Eaton swap by ImpalaSlayer 11-09-10
Semper et in Aeternum, Mercurius.
In Memory:
2004 DTR
Build Date 01/27/04
Purchased 04/04/04
Wrecked 10/19/05, R.I.P.
2003 300B DBP
Build date: 6/19/03
Number 7,792 of 7,838 - 326 of 328
Proud member of the MM "BLUES" Bros.
Purchased: 11/10/05
Eaton swap by ImpalaSlayer 11-09-10
Semper et in Aeternum, Mercurius.
In Memory:
2004 DTR
Build Date 01/27/04
Purchased 04/04/04
Wrecked 10/19/05, R.I.P.
TO CALL THE POLICEWHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian , Mississippi , wasgoing up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on inthe garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You shouldlock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips'residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George , "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
(True Story) I LOVE IT!
Don't mess with old people.
Last edited by LeoVampire; 05-01-2010 at 09:48 AM. Reason: goofed in spelling as usual
Bought Her for my 40th B Day in August of 2004 @ Crest Lincoln Mercury
Assembled 12/17/2003
#1183 of a build of 3214
and is #379 of 1237
Link to Mod's and car:
http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forum...o=view&id=8832
Link to Pictures of the Kids/Animals, Cars I have built or a hand in building as well as cars and trucks I have owned.
http://www.mercurymarauder.net/forum...php?albumid=16
2003 300B DBP
Build date: 6/19/03
Number 7,792 of 7,838 - 326 of 328
Proud member of the MM "BLUES" Bros.
Purchased: 11/10/05
Eaton swap by ImpalaSlayer 11-09-10
Semper et in Aeternum, Mercurius.
In Memory:
2004 DTR
Build Date 01/27/04
Purchased 04/04/04
Wrecked 10/19/05, R.I.P.
I was out shopping yesterday for a new ride. Just for fun, I took a Cadillac Escalade out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that Escalade "feel" before they become extinct through even more mismanagement by the government...
The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and all its wonderful options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.
I stated the car must be a Republican car.
Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican car.
I explained that if it were a Democrat car, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.
I had to walk back to the dealership...
2003 300B DBP
Build date: 6/19/03
Number 7,792 of 7,838 - 326 of 328
Proud member of the MM "BLUES" Bros.
Purchased: 11/10/05
Eaton swap by ImpalaSlayer 11-09-10
Semper et in Aeternum, Mercurius.
In Memory:
2004 DTR
Build Date 01/27/04
Purchased 04/04/04
Wrecked 10/19/05, R.I.P.
What do you call Viagra for women?.....Jewelery
A little boy says to his mother, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"
His mother replied, "Barack, don't even go there! From what I can remember about that party, you're lucky you don't bark!"
300A
born 08-27-02
Adjusted air in and air out.
400+ timeslips.
When in doubt, GAS IT! This will either fix the problem, or end the suspense.
2003 300B DBP
Build date: 6/19/03
Number 7,792 of 7,838 - 326 of 328
Proud member of the MM "BLUES" Bros.
Purchased: 11/10/05
Eaton swap by ImpalaSlayer 11-09-10
Semper et in Aeternum, Mercurius.
In Memory:
2004 DTR
Build Date 01/27/04
Purchased 04/04/04
Wrecked 10/19/05, R.I.P.
Problem solving. The answer is at the bottom.
You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a 'drop off' , (The ground is 18-24 inches below the level you are travelling on), and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you ...
In front of you is a galloping horse , which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it .
Behind you is a galloping zebra . Both the horse and zebra are also travelling at the same speed as you .
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation ?
* Get off the merry-go-round, you're too drunk. *
2003 Marauder 300eh -Stock
Born: 12/03/2002
Adopted 02/17/2003
Trilogy #243
AVIC D3
SS Inserts.
Metco Control arms and Watts link.
QA1 8 way adjustable shocks and struts.
Addco front and rear anti-roll bars.
Wilwood front brakes.
I can't drive 55. I'm looking forward to not being able to drive 75 ether.
Saorsa gu Brath
(Freedon Forever)
Si vis pacem para bellum
(If you want peace, prepare for war)
Μολὼν λαβέ
(Come and take them)
Stann saam of sterf allen
(Stand together or die alone)
Audentis Fortuna Iuvat
(Fortune Favors the Brave)
Antes morrer livres que em paz sujeitos
(Rather die as free men than be enslaved in peace)
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants alike. It is the tree's natural manure." -Thomas Jefferson
"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." - Thomas Jefferson
The Constitution guarantees our rights as American citizens, the 2nd Amendment protects those rights
"THE BLACK BOMBER"
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