Sorry for the french
Sorry for the french
It's an old one so you've probably already heard it but...
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
Because we are efficient.
And don't have a sense of humour.
2003 Black 300A Dark Charcoal, #499 of 6978 built 06/04/02
3.88 gears, dual fuel propane conversion.
2003 Silver 300B Light Flint, #166 of 417 built 04/22/03
TCE/Wilwood big brake kit, SW headers and cats, Flowmaster mufflers
1999 Lincoln Town Car Signature Series Touring Sedan
Dual exhaust, dual fuel propane conversion
2009 Pontiac G8 GT Sport Package
Holden HSV GTS body kit, dual fuel propane conversion
Previously: 2003 Audi A6 Avant | 1999 Ford Fairlane AU
Subject: Looking for help.....
.
The ad reads:
This is Lexi, she is an 8 week-old German Sheppard, I bought Lexi as a surprise for my wife but it turns out she is allergic to dogs so we are now looking to find her a new home.
She is 39 years old, a beautiful and caring woman who drives, is a great cook and keeps a good house.
"Moonbeam McSwine"
2003 DBP, fresh off an Iowa corn farm.
"Pretty much stock, except for the blower."
"Devil Girl"
2004 DTR w/ Light Flint
Every factory option - Moonroof, all that stuff.
Yeah talk about joke of the day....lol.
Last edited by MERCMAN; 11-07-2016 at 06:57 AM.
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'04 Marauder #357 of 3213 - Built and Eaton swapped - "MERCD"
'21 F150 XLT 5.0 Sport
'18 Chevy Malibu Redline
'15 Mustang GT, performance package
'01 BMW 740i M-Sport, manual swapped
'97 Lincoln Town Car (black on black)
'10 Harley Ultra Limited
'08 Kawasaki ZX6R
'03 Grand Marquis(sold)
Leaving the store, I couldn't find my keys. They weren't in my purse. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition. He's afraid that the car might be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police and gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband, "I left the keys in the car and it's been stolen." There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice, "are you kidding me?" he barked, "I dropped you off." Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "well, come and get me."
He retorted, "I will. just as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your damn car".
Welcome to the golden years.
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat… As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston”
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business role at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men,
when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.
I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name..”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba.”
I LOVE Jerry's bar, it's my kinda place...........
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead. It is difficult only for others. It is the same way when you are stupid.
"Chuck Norris built my stock longblock. It runs on the tears of small children and makes 10,000 hp. He said it's his 'street version' "
Trilogy # 192 / T.S. 0012
BOOST GETS YOU FELONY STOPPED!!!
Haha that's a good story right there^
300A Black
4:10 gears, Flowmaster 44's with rear cat delete, SW headers with 3 inch cats to 2.5 custom h. 3500 stall, Twisted synergy dyno tune, addco f/r , rear control arms, Novi 1200 air to air with the fixings.
,me too.... Tonto Goldstien... Hahaha my friends call me Bubba... Hahaha
2003 300A Black, #4918 of 7838, 17,400 Miles
Tune, KYB's, JLT, FlowMaster 42441, Res Delete, New BFG's, 8 coats of zymoil Titanium
2003 300B Silver Birch, #21 of 419, 29,800 miles
Tune, JLT, FlowMaster 42441 Res Delete, New Nitto 235/255 Bigcarsforever dead peddle & custom SRP peddles, 5 coats Zymoil Titanium, Addco front and rear sway bars, KYBs, 1/2 inch coil cut, Sparta Watts link and Control Arms, Carfixer alignment.
2003 CV Sport Matador Red, 19,280 Miles, DD, Curless Full Service Royal flush, Marto Tune, 18 Chrome Wheels w 235/265 front/back Nitto tires, NEW OEM Sport Springs -1 coil & Monroe Severe Duty (front) shocks, Addco front and rear sway bars, KYB rear Shocks, Carfixer Alignment.
2004 CV HPP Silver Birch, 93,000 miles. Son's DD, 18 Chrome Wheels w 235/265 front/back Nitto tires (thank you Lowndex!)
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