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Thread: Joke of the day

  1. #61
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
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    Ever wonder...

    Ever wonder...Some things to think about.

    Ever wonder about those who spend $2.00 each for a bottle of Evian water? Ever think to spell Evian backwards?

    Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

    OK...so, if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", does that mean that the Tennessee Titans are know as the...

    If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one out of five enjoy it?

    There are three religious truths:
    1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
    2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
    3. Baptists do not recognize each other in liquor stores, or, at any Hooters.

    If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just seasoned stale bread anyway?

    Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist when the person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

    If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?

    What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

    I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, and I wondered what Chinese mothers use...Toothpicks?

    If it's true that we are here to help others, then what, exactly, are the others here for?

    Why you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive...

  2. #62
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    Look Mac, this is jjust too damn much thinking! Now you have gone and made my head hurt!!

  3. #63
    Join Date
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    Arrow ???

    I hope
    I get the answers in Texas
    Member # 383.

    2003 Marauder Black.

    Build 8/13/02

    Launched 9/28/02

    Sold May 16, 2018

    #3,646 of 7,839 black '03

    1995 Ford F-150. Mark III 2wd, reg. cab

    2011 F-150 Lariat crew cab 4X4 3.5 L twin turbo Ecoboost

    Fate rarely call upon us at a monent of our choosing.

    http://www.usdebtclock.org/index.html

  4. #64
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    Re: Ever wonder...

    Originally posted by SergntMac
    Ever wonder about those who spend $2.00 each for a bottle of Evian water? Ever think to spell Evian backwards?
    Someone needs to tell my GF this...

  5. #65
    Join Date
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    Exclamation don't go there

    Originally posted by LincMercLover
    Someone needs to tell my GF this...
    man 'o man ain't you never gonna learn don't go there
    Member # 383.

    2003 Marauder Black.

    Build 8/13/02

    Launched 9/28/02

    Sold May 16, 2018

    #3,646 of 7,839 black '03

    1995 Ford F-150. Mark III 2wd, reg. cab

    2011 F-150 Lariat crew cab 4X4 3.5 L twin turbo Ecoboost

    Fate rarely call upon us at a monent of our choosing.

    http://www.usdebtclock.org/index.html

  6. #66
    LML's Sammy Guest
    Nah, Rick and I are pretty laid back in our relationship, stupid stuff like that is funny!

  7. #67
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    Blonde goes into the bank for a $25K loan. Loan officer says she needs collateral. She says OK use my car. He checks the value and says it's worth $80k so all is well. She leaves on a business trip, he informs the manager of the deal. They go out and the manager sees that the collateral is a brand new Jag and immediately orders the car moved into the garage, roped off, and a 24 hour guard posted on it. In 4 weeks the blonde returns and pays off the loan, including $40 interest. The loan officer says, assuming the basic blonde mental prowess, You know, while you were gone I did some checking. You're worth $500 million, so why'd you take a loan for a month. She replies, "Well, where else can I park in New York City, with 24 hour security, for 40 bucks a month.
    300A
    born 08-27-02
    Adjusted air in and air out.
    400+ timeslips.

    When in doubt, GAS IT! This will either fix the problem, or end the suspense.

  8. #68
    LML's Sammy Guest
    Hehe...good one! Not the usual blonde joke!

  9. #69
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    Paul - Very funny.
    2003 Marauder 300B,
    6468 out of 7839 - Thanks Brian
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    Sold 4/3/2009 Now resides in AL.
    1961 Pontiac Bonneville Convertible
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    ----- John

  10. #70
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    Ok Martyo try that in NYC.
    Member # 383.

    2003 Marauder Black.

    Build 8/13/02

    Launched 9/28/02

    Sold May 16, 2018

    #3,646 of 7,839 black '03

    1995 Ford F-150. Mark III 2wd, reg. cab

    2011 F-150 Lariat crew cab 4X4 3.5 L twin turbo Ecoboost

    Fate rarely call upon us at a monent of our choosing.

    http://www.usdebtclock.org/index.html

  11. #71
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    A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

    Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98."

    A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read:

    Legal Consultation Service: $150

  12. #72
    Man...I can just see a room full of lawyers...hearing that....and just laughin.....



  13. #73
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    Originally posted by TAF
    Man...I can just see a room full of lawyers...hearing that....and just laughin.....


    Yes, indeedy!


  14. #74
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    OK fess up marty, that was a true story wasn't it?

    Was it Stanley or Stella?
    Last edited by RCSignals; 06-14-2003 at 11:30 PM.
    Member Number 32

    Originally posted by TripleTransAm
    An interesting side note: this isn't the same forum I used to post on for years, and I've been doing a lot of reading over the past 48 hours on both sites. Looks like there's been a serious splintering. I never thought it'd be possible for this to happen to a group of owners of a car model that sold no more than 14000 copies over 2 model years. Kind of scary, when thinking of the scale. Makes one think that maybe it'd be a good idea to do some introspection and think about what each of us needs to do to build a solid community, analyze what it is we're all honestly looking for by belonging to this community.

  15. #75
    jrzygrl Guest
    Blonde girl skips home all happy "Mommy, Mommy, we were counting today and I counted the highest!"
    "Very Good", said the mother.
    "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
    " Yes, it's because you're blonde."
    The next day the blonde girl skips home , again all happy.
    "We were saying the ABC's and I could say them all!!"
    "Very Good", said the mother.
    "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
    "Yes, it's because your blonde."
    Next day blonde girl skips home all proud.
    "We were in Gym class today and when we showered, all the other girls were flat, but, I have these!!!" She lifted her top and shows off her 36C's.
    "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
    Her mother, rather embarassed, replies...
    "Well no, it's because you're 22"

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