Random Rants

[Joe Walsh]

So, my son spies the last Klondike bar in the freezer and asks if he can have it; my daughter immediately cries, "I want it!" (Meanwhile, both have been pigging out on Easter candy and my daughters' b-day cake all day).

I say, "I'll cut it in half...do you want me to cut it straight or diagonal?"

(Damn...shouldn't have asked that...)

"Straight!"

"Diagonal!"

"His piece is bigger than mine!"

"No it's not, yours is bigger than mine!"

"Unh-uh, yours is bigger!"

"Yours is!....no yours is....no it isn't...yes it...BE QUIET AND EAT YOUR ICE CREAM!!!"

.....
.....
.....

"You're mean...you didn't have to yell at us"


And you wonder why some species eat their young....

Solution:
Warn them that if they cannot come to a quick agreement, YOU will eat the entire Klondike bar.....right in front of them!

It also teaches kids that: "Life aint always fair.".....and that: "It's good to be King."

[MyBlackBeasts]

Tried that...they argued over who gets to cut and wanted to use the biggest knife I have in the house....for a chicken nugget.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and they get along great 90% of the time...it's just that 10% can drive me ape***** sometimes...

You missed a step. YOU pick who cuts & hand them the appropriate knife, this is the problem solver.

Solution:
Warn them that if they cannot come to a quick agreement, YOU will eat the entire Klondike bar.....right in fornt of them!

It also teaches kids that: "Life aint always fair.".....and that: "It's good to be King."

Bingo! We have a winner. When the arguing started seeing as they were already scarfing down goodies, dad would have eaten the Klondike & ended the issue!

[bill64]

I cannot stand tailgaters...today I had the marauder out for a ride when I noticed a really beat up chevy astro van ( dident know their was any of them left) pull out of a side street and started to ride on my tail. of course now knowing how rare the bumper covers are for our cars tailgaters make me a little nervous. as I was at a stop sign this guy stopped as close as possable to my car so I inched foward, i pulled away about a foot when he hit his gas then jammed his brakes, weather he was being an a hole or thats just the way he drives I dont know but I yelled out my window GET THAT POS OFF MY ASS !!
rant #2. 08' superduty left rear brake hanging up...truck only has 16k miles
rant#3 i noticed on my marauder while looking under the hood a large peice of insulation on the bottom of the cowl is resting on top of the left hand front cat converter...I guess I have some work to do this week end

[lilmarauder]

Whenever I'm in my truck, (beat up 06 f150) and someone wants to ride my ass ill drop it down into 2nd and it freaks them out cause they don't see brake lights, yet there is a tailgate in thier face

[bill64]

Whenever I'm in my truck, (beat up 06 f150) and someone wants to ride my ass ill drop it down into 2nd and it freaks them out

oh yeah! one morning on the way to work I was driving my old 94" f250 when a hot shot in a bmw was on my ass. I would not normally hit the brakes but as luck would happen a small animal like a possom or something jumped out of the woods (no lie) so I nailed the brakes...that guy stopped tailgating me, and the small animal went on his way unharmed!

[IwantmyMMnow!]

People that are walking and have to press the crosswalk button 100 times....its like they expect the traffic light to change immediately so they can cross...idiots.

[L.Mark]

Yes, apparently you can just do whatever the **** you want around here anymore. How about . . .

You're waiting for some traffic to go by when merging from a short ramp. When it's clear and you start to merge, the guy that was behind you is RIGHT THERE NEXT TO YOU trying to come around you, to pass you in the merge ? ? ?

Or . . .

You're stopped in the "Left Turn Only" lane. When you get the green arrow and start your left, the guy that was behind you IS RIGHT THERE NEXT TO YOU trying to turn inside you, to pass you in the turn ? ? ?

I'll eventually find out who these mother****ers ARE, that are in this big of a ****ing HURRY, because they'll read out their names at my bail hearing.

WTF x 1,000,000

THis is one of the reasons I want to buy a 74 LTD. Beef up the motor to @ 500-600RWHP and them pour concrete inside the sheetmetal, so when some jackass does that and I act like I don't see em and their car is ripped in half and I have just a scratch I'll gigle and laugh like the B**ches they are...

[Joe Walsh]

OK....been a lonnnnng time since I've needed to rant.

So here goes!

After years of study and careful observation;

I have come to the conclusion that the vast majority of Toyota and Honda owners (notice that I did NOT call them drivers...that would be far too optimistic!)

are friggin' MORONS!!!......

I have the unenviable task of driving the Baltimore and DC Beltways on a daily basis.
During these exercises in frustration, with skyrocketing blood pressure, and a road rage induced, spittle coated dashboard/inside windshield, I have come to classify the following vehicles as being driven by THE biggest idiots:

Rankings are from worst to....well.....worse.

#1 Toyota Prius

#2 Toyota Camry especially the Camry 'S' models....whoooooo....they have plastic skirts and 'S' badges....
(seems that the Corolla is no longer popular amongst the brain dead lemmings)

#3 Honda CRV

#4 is a 4 way tie between:
Honda Accord
Toyota Sienna Minivan
Honda Odyssey Minivan
Honda Excrement.....errrrr.....I mean Element

The absolutely insane, stupid, ridiculous, dangerous, dumb maneuvers that the occupants (again...I didn't say drivers as that would imply that you had some control of your vehicle!)
in the above listed road going appliances commit, never ceases to amaze...and...infuriate me!

THERE!....I'm all done......and I do feel better now.

[Krytin]

I second the emotion for all of the same reasons - you are not alone!!!

If just one more of these idiots pulls out of a side street/parking lot/driveway right in front of me while I'm driving 40+ mph and looking me square in the eye when doing it (yes, they are close enough to see the whites of their eyes!), I am going to pull them over and snap their neck with my bare hands!

There now - I Do feel better - thanks Joe!

[ChiTownMaraud3r]

I'd argue the corolla would be in top 3.

[Ms. Denmark]

^^^^All of the above PLUS anyone with PA plates.

[Bluerauder]

#2 Toyota Camry especially the Camry 'S' models....whoooooo....they have plastic skirts and 'S' badges....
(seems that the Corolla is no longer popular amongst the brain dead lemmings).

I'd argue the corolla would be in top 3.

I agree ^^^^^^. The Toyota Corolla "S" is at the very top of my list ... followed by the rest of the Corolla family.

I think Toyota offers a "Stupid Driver Discount" because there is no way that the number of idiots driving Toyotas is a random occurrence.

[Mr. Man]

You forgot Mercedes owners. I truly believe they believe there is no one else on the road.

[Joe Walsh]

You forgot Mercedes owners. I truly believe they believe there is no one else on the road.

My bad!
and you are right.....especially the 240 and the CLA owners!

The only thing those models say to me is: " I really can't afford a real Mercedes " Mercedes.

[Motorhead350]

I hate healthy food.